Mollymook is so beautiful. The sheltered beach was quiet, with just the sounds of the water around me. Perfect for recharging the batteries. Particularly when staying at Bannisters Pavillion with a free upgrade to the penthouse! Checking in, that was a welcomed yet unexpected surprise. Tired, and stewing over unnecessary drama created by a woman I was volunteering for, my drive down wasn’t what I’d hoped it to be. Needless to say, my welcoming arrival saw me immediately uplifted. Having made nothing of my life academically or professionally, staying in a penthouse anywhere, was not an expectation I’ve ever had.
I may be 46, but prove I did, that the 5 year old in me is still going strong. I did manage to act my age initially, although squealing on the inside. As an adult does, I calmly walked around, yes, yes, all very noice, very noice. A squeal escaped as it hit that I wasn’t here to clean – OR DO ANY KIND OF HOUSEKEEPING AT ALL!!! And out she came.
I had to let Jessie know I’d arrived safely anyway, so snapped a gallery of photos to send as well. Everything was sussed out, poked and/or touched, amid intermittent squealing. Every cupboard and drawer was opened. The mini bars were both opened and contents registered. Typically, party pooper adult said no ($38 for a 500ml Vodka). I sat in all the chairs, bags’ed my favourite lounge, checked out the huge balcony, smelled all the products in the bathroom (they all smelled the same by the way), then poured a glass of my complimentary champagne (the adult said definitely), then set up my photo shoot – ‘Poured Champagne with Biscuit and Cheese – Featuring Fireplace’ I call it.
After the obligatory post on Facebook, I was kindly reminded to do the jump and flop back on the bed, which naturally, was done immediately. I was to leave with no regrets! Being a luxurious king sized bed, I was looking forward to sprawling out without cats restricting my movement and stealing my snuggle pillow!
My priority was recharging the batteries and indulging my senses while I was away. This was an opportunity that doesn’t come along often – a generous birthday present from my parents last year. Consequently I wanted to allow my mind to be free from the usual day to day worries and routines of life, and stay relaxed in each moment. Contrary to my usual city self, I found this quite easy in Mollymook.
I spent time at the beach, searching for tiny shells along the high tide line. The beach was all but deserted, and all I could hear were the seagulls and the calming sounds of the waves. The northern end of Mollymook beach is quite rocky and I sat for ages watching the water rise and fall around the rocks. I want to bring my surf shoes next time and take on those rocks and go exploring.
After spending a couple of hours there, completely in my own world, I had two and a half hours at the Day Spa being pampered. Floating after that, I enjoyed a cocktail upstairs in the bar lounge, relaxed in a bubble bath before heading back upstairs for dinner. It was all about me, me, me, and although I missed Jessie, I knew time away would be good for us both. (I probably got the better end of the deal!)
I guess everyone’s idea of respite differs, but the need for it is the same. Every parent raising child or teen with mental health issues, needs timeout for themselves. It’s an incredibly draining and exhausting occupation! It’s constant and heartbreaking, frustrating and generally fucked because I can’t fix it. It hurts because a) Jessie’s not happy, b) she can be so nasty to me at times, and c) I know her outbursts at me mirror her own pain and struggle. I find I’m always on high alert, and with Jessie being schooled from home it’s a 24/7 feeling.
Requiring a break, has nothing to do with diminishing levels of love. Without the opportunity to recharge, the mind and body will burnout, leaving me no good to anybody. I’ve let that happen before, and I now recognise the benefits of taking guilt free time out for me.
The relationship you have with yourself, sets the tone for every other relationship you have.