I do. My daughter and I are very close (most of the time) and she loves sharing her thoughts with me. She is also very honest and can’t be bothered with false niceties. It can be very enlightening listening to her thoughts. Communication is the only way we know how and what our kids think. I love having those lines open with Jessie.
Jessie is either silent or she talks without drawing breath. She can literally talk under water. Literally! This morning she felt like talking to me while I was in the shower. Something she hasn’t done in a very long time. She was telling me about her favourite shows, and then got into how much her tastes have changed as she’s gotten older.
She’s used to like The Vampire Diaries, but thinks it’s so lame now. She said she cringes to think that she once loved it. Then she said “it’s like when old people think they’re cool but they’re not.” There was silence. I wiped the steam off the shower screen and I looked at her. She looked at me. We started laughing and I asked her if she was talking about me. Silence again!! Hilarious! Then – “yeah Mum. Sorry, but you’re not cool.” I tried to convince her that I am actually very cool, but apparently my generation can’t be cool. She just doesn’t understand the real meaning of what it is to be ‘cool’!
I used to be a punk for christ sake, with my spiked hair and my hardcore skeleton buckle boots! I’m cool goddamn it!! The eyes nearly rolled out of her head. Imagine how embarrassed she would be if I still looked like that. It’s so funny that I’m just seen as Mum, not as a whole person who’s had a life before motherhood.
So on she goes with her conversation. I’m hearing all about her shows and who she ‘ships’ and why – something I wouldn’t understand she tells me. I started laughing again and said “oh my god, so I’m uncool and stupid?” Thankfully I was corrected – no not stupid…just cringy. Cringy!! I’m not to take it personally though, because most of my generation is cringy, with the mum jokes and the dad jokes and the general embarrassment we can’t help bestowing on our kids. So phew, that’s a relief. She was kind enough to acknowledge that her kids will no doubt be embarrassed of her at some time too. She’s very thoughtful like that!
I’m out of the shower by now, getting dressed in my room and she was looking at a photo of a pregnant me that I have on the wall. She says to me “you were so pretty when you were younger Mum. Not boasting but I think I’ll be pretty when I’m older. I’m just worried about when I’m 50 and ugly.” I’m 46… Getting close to the end of that timeline and that ugly stick’s going to be coming after me! I guess 60 = fugly? 70 = fuglyas? 80 = fuuugly? 90 = hopefully in my grave.
This afternoon I had my first impromptu lesson in Why Mum’s NOT Cool. Jessie asked me why I did something, I can’t remember what, and I said “coz that’s just how I roll.” She immediately said, in a flat tone, “And there it is – cringy”, before disappearing into the smelly depths of her cave. Snap.